


Dirt Off Your Shoulder

by Nokomis



Category: Bandom, Mindless Self Indulgence, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-15
Updated: 2012-04-15
Packaged: 2017-11-03 17:15:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/383918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nokomis/pseuds/Nokomis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The high school adventures of Lyn-Z and Steve, Way-admirers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dirt Off Your Shoulder

**Author's Note:**

> This started off as a chatfic with thesamefire. <3

The thing about high school is that it's really fucking boring. Lyn-Z and Steve don't have much to do during lunch except people-watching, which basically amounts to a two-person live-action Mystery Science Theater 3000 show as they make snide remarks about everyone who walks past.

Two of the easiest targets are the Way brothers, who sit around being weird with their weird friends. After the third or fourth time Steve follows up an insult directed at Mikey with, "That is a great Infinity Gauntlet shirt, though," Lyn-Z sing-songs, "You have a cruuuush on Mikey Way!"

Steve doesn't refute the statement.

Lyn-Z starts making fun of the Ways even more after that, because the way Steve gets huffy about it is too hilarious to not take advantage of. Steve can't back down from a good public mocking, though, so they both end up pestering Gerard and Mikey in the halls.

Gerard and Mikey look a little overwhelmed when they walk up and make fun of the patches on Gerard's backpack and the way Mikey wears his glasses.

*

Since the ice was broken and all, one day Lyn-Z and Steve just walk up and sit with the Ways and their weirdo friends at lunch, just inviting themselves over and ignoring all the weird looks they get and inserting themselves into conversation.

When Frank demands to know why they're sitting there Steve just says, "It's a free country!" like a douche.

Frank tries to argue and it disintegrates into Steve talking about how awesome it would be to be a dictator while Lyn-Z helps herself to Ray's tater tots.

At first it was just to get fodder for making fun of them later, but it turns out that they get along pretty well.

*

Lyn-Z finds out that Mikey sells bootleg DVDs, and she totally wants to get _The Black Cauldron_. So while she's placing her order with Mikey, he says something about Steve. Something that Lyn-Z, in direct violation of every best-friend rule Steve has ever heard, refuses to share.

Lyn-Z is totally insufferable to Steve about it. She just totally lords it over him, coyly bringing up that she'd had an interesting conversation with a certain Mikey Way today.

"Maybe if you give me a foot rub I'll remember what it was Mikey said about someone today!"

Steve crinkles his nose, looking at Lyn-Z's feet propped on his lap. "Those nasty things?"

Lyn-Z wiggles her toes and says, "My memory is getting fuzzier by the second!"

Steve gives her the goddamn foot rub.

Lyn-Z leans back contentedly and gets him to paint her toenails, too, while he's at it. "Man, if you screw this up, I will probably never remember exactly what it was he said."

Steve is cursing her under his breath and is only going through this shit because Mikey is _really hot, okay_ and he's pretty sure he's easy, and Lyn-Z is finally like, "Yeah, Mikey said you were a weird dude."

There is a pause and Steve considers painting the word 'asshole' on her forehead.

"But he might have said more," she adds. "I think you need to wash my paintbrushes for me."

Steve scowls. "You extortionist."

Lyn-Z just raises an eyebrow and says, "You want the info, you gotta go through the hoops."

Steve wants the info all right. He stares at Lyn-Z for a moment and then begins to hatch his diabolical plan, certain it's necessary, especially when it turns out that Lyn-Z's insider info is that Mikey asked if Steve likes hanging out at the arcade in in the strip mall near the school.

*

The next day Steve corners Gerard in the locker room and demands, "So what do you think about my friend, you know, the smelly girl with the toe jam problem?"

Gerard flaps his mouth like a fish on shore and finally squeaks out, "She's okay?"

Steve figures that's enough to work with.

*

Lyn-Z tells him what an awesome job he did on her toenails, which somehow leads to Steve painting her fingernails for her too, because she always has a hard time doing designs on the nails of her right hand. Steve uses this as an opportunity to say, "I want you to seduce information out of Gerard."

Lyn-Z blinks.

Steve has given the situation thought. "He's smelly, you're smelly. You cancel each other out. It's perfect."

Lyn-Z sniffs at her armpit. "I'm not as smelly as you like to act, Mr. Clean."

She doesn't, however, immediately rule out the idea of wooing Gerard.

"You probably won't even have to kiss him," Steve says thoughtfully. "You can probably just put your hand on his knee and he'll tell you everything we want to know and then some, up to and including Mikey's social security number."

"Why would he even know that?" Lyn-Z asks, holding her fingers spread as she waits for the polish to dry.

"Zoid, that dude is weird, I'd be surprised if there was anything about Mikey he doesn't know - like whether or not he'd be willing to ess my dee."

Lyn-Z decides that it's not worth smudging her still-wet polish to flick Steve in the side of the face, but it's a close one.

*

So when they barge in on lunch the next day Lyn-Z plops down next to Gerard and says, "Let's go on a date."

She calmly ignores the sound of Frank choking on his french fry as Gerard looks around like it's a joke.

It takes a few minutes to get a yes out of Gerard, because he just keeps saying, "Seriously, you're joking, right?" 

Bob announces, "I told you they had ulterior motives to sitting here!"

Steve steeples his fingers like Monty Burns.

Lyn-Z just says, "I'll pick you up at your house!" because it's a fact-finding mission and Casa Way will hold clues. Gerard is still stuck in _is this really happening?_ mode, like a girl has never plopped down and demanded a date with him. Lyn-Z is trying really hard not to let how charmed she is by Gerard's blustering show on her face because she can't show Steve weakness. He's like an entire wolf pack all wrapped up in one sarcastic high schooler. The teasing would _never stop_.

But Gerard is really fucking adorable and she grins at him and tells him to be ready at seven. "Wear something pretty!"

*

"Are _you_ wearing something pretty?" Steve calls into her room before barging in.

Lyn-Z motions towards her outfit. It's basically what she wore to school. Steve stares at her. "Come here, at least let me fluff those knockers up. Give him some incentive to cough up info."

Lyn-Z sticks out her tongue. "I thought you said I wouldn't have to go into seduction mode."

"I didn't mean put on a habit and scowl all night," Steve protests. He tugs at her shirt's neckline and then grabs at her boobs to fluff them up to more impressive cleavage. 

Lyn-Z swats at him and readjusts her bra straps herself. "There is nothing wrong with my _knockers_ ," she adds. "Gerard has plenty of incentive, okay."

Steve looks skeptical as she leaves.

*

Lyn-Z goes up to Gerard's front door and rings the doorbell, stepping back and tapping her toe as it takes a few minutes for anyone to answer. Gerard finally peeks out the door and looks as though he can't quite believe she's there. He doesn't say anything about the fast food wrappers in the seat when he climbs into her car, and looks around nervously. He looks surprised when she starts singing along with the Biggie album she's got playing, but after a few minutes he does some dance moves in his seat that have Lyn-Z laughing delightedly.

When they get to the movie theater Gerard suggests a chick flick because that's where dates are supposed to go. Lyn-Z rolls her eyes, says, "Oh, hell no," and drags him to the action flick, talking all the way about how awesome explosions are.

She keeps stopping and asking weird questions about his brother like, "Cars blowing up is awesome! ..does your brother blow things? Up, I mean."

Gerard bites his lip and says, "Um. Bootlegging is his only crime."

Lyn-Z says, " _That's_ a crime."

Gerard doesn't know what to think. It doesn't make sense, okay, does Lyn-Z like his brother? And if so, she doesn't even have anything for him to blow! What's he supposed to _say_ to that? So he's sure to make sure all his answers to the rest of her awkward questions about Mikey are about how lame and boring and lame his brother is, and Lyn-Z is looking a little confused, like she can't figure out what's up.

That definitely makes two of them.

Once the movie starts, though, she stops with the Mikey line of questioning. They keep bumping elbows and actually accidentally bumping hands in the popcorn bucket and Lyn-Z keeps yelling at the hero, all, "Time's a-ticking, buster, _cut the red one_ , you idiot!"

Lyn-Z isn't really getting the intel she wants, but she _is_ getting these awesome butterflies in her belly every time there's a Gerard-collision, and so she totally does the yawn-stretch-arm move and drapes it over Gerard's shoulder.

Gerard stiffens, because this is _awesome_ , but what was he supposed to do? What do girls do? And then he realizes that, wow, if he put his head on her shoulder her boob would be _right there_. So he does, and it's just as prime real estate as he'd hoped. 

Lyn-Z looks down at Gerard's weirdly crooked part in his hair and is like, "Okay, I'm a pimp." They stay like that for the entire rest of the movie. Which, okay, doesn't last that long after the hero disarms the bomb, so they kind of stay there awkwardly halfway through the credits then Lyn-Z shifts in her seat because they should probably get up sometime.

Gerard realizes, oh crap, he's a _creep_ , and jerks his head up and knocks his head into Lyn-Z's lip.

"Motherfucker!" she exclaims, putting her hand to her lip. It's bleeding.

Gerard can't stop saying, "Oh god, I'm sorry!" over and over while shoving napkins at her.

She takes them and holds them to her lip, saying, "It's not that big a deal! Though some ice would help."

They end up getting slushies, which are awesome and they chatter and Lyn-Z has to punch Gerard in the arm to get him to stop apologizing.

Gerard gets a bright red tongue from his cherry slushie and Lyn-Z can't stop staring. He keeps nervously licking his lips, and that shouldn't be attractive, really, but it is. it really really is. Lyn-Z totally forgets her mission.

She leans forward to kiss him, gets close enough that their lips brush, then she pulls back and bites her lip and then flinches and gets spazzy and announces she was supposed to be home half an hour ago so she has to drive Gerard home now.

Her heart is racing and she's worried that she's blushing. She hopes the car is dark enough to hide the pinkness she can feel burning in her cheeks. She even stutters and lets out an awkward braying laugh after she makes a weak joke when they pull up to Gerard's house.

Gerard looks uncomfortable before he opens the car door, like he can't decide what to say or do, and Lyn-Z just smiles and waves, so he says, "Bye," and runs up to his house.

*

 

Steve is waiting at Lyn-Z's house when she gets there - her mom even made him cookies, they've had sleepovers forever - and she hasn't even had time to calm down from her unexpectedly _real_ date with Gerard. She's trying to not look all red and flustered, and Steve is staring at her.

"What the fuck is up with your lip?" Steve demands. "Never mind, your face isn't important, _what about Mikey_?"

Lyn-Z automatically replies,"Fuck you! My face is totally important!"

She waits for Steve to apologize, because she's not going to part with any details before he does, even as she realizes that her face is still Barbie pink and that she desperately doesn't want Steve to look too closely _at_ her face. She keeps her best 'fuck you' scowl on, though, hoping for the best.

Steve makes a few more comments about his opinion of her face she doesn't really hear because she's desperately trying to remember what the hell she and Gerard talked about. It certainly wasn't his brother.

Steve takes a deep breath and says,"Your face is awesome. What did he say about Mikey?"

She comes up with, "Mikey wears glasses? And likes cereal?"

Steve keeps grilling her for details, and she's just desperately trying to make sure that it doesn't sound like she has a crush on Gerard.

Because she has a crush on Gerard. A _crush_ on _Gerard_.

So all she can really say is, "Well... he's not a pyro!" and keep up an internal mantra of _omgdon'taskmeaboutGerard_. She's mostly hoping that years of friendship will manage to forge a hidden psychic bond that she can influence Steve with.

It magically works.

*

Steve brings a giant tupperware filled with Count Chocula for lunch the next day. Mikey gives him weird looks that Steve interprets as envy.

Gerard, on the other hand, is looking at Lyn-Z all awkwardly because Lyn-Z isn't even sitting next to him. Lyn-Z just shifts in her seat trying to ignore Gerard's looks because she doesn't want Steve to think she's attached or anything even though she really kind of wants to hold his hand.

Frank keeps asking about the date, and Lyn-Z wishes that she was the kind of girl who could coyly say some shit like,"I don't kiss and tell."

Instead she sticks her tongue out at Frank and tells him to fuck off, which makes Gerard look even more dejected. Meanwhile Steve is trying to flirt with Mikey, but the problem is his flirting style hasn't evolved much since first grade, so most of his comments to Mikey are more mean than anything. 

Lyn-Z meets Steve by his locker later, because she's getting pretty concerned that he's never going to get it together enough to actually get with Mikey. "So I might as well go on a second date with Gerard, to try to make your case and he can pass it along to Mikey or whatever. God, the things I do for you, Steve."

Steve scowls but considering that Mikey's response to Steve sneaking a fake spider ring into his hair had been to shriek like a girl, he doesn't argue that he needs the help.

*

Gerard looks like Lyn-Z is going to kick him in the nads when she walks up to him, which isn't really the most confidence-inspiring expression a girl could see in a potential date. "Do you want to go out tonight?" she asks, figuring being polite would maybe ease Gerard's fretfulness.

"Yes!" Gerard practically yells, and Lyn-Z wonders if maybe he's a bit of a masochist. She doesn't argue it.

*

Lyn-Z picks Gerard up and drives around aimlessly for a bit trying to get used to his... Gerard-ness, which is becoming more and more alarmingly endearing, before deciding to go to the arcade. 

She really wants to play DDR but she doesn't want him to stare at her boobs when she's playing, so she makes him play it two-player with her so he has to keep his eyes on the screen. She's more than a little surprised when it turns out he's decent at the game.

After a few minutes, though it becomes apparent this middle school boy is totally staring at her, though, and Gerard tells him to go fuck himself.

Lyn-Z cannot stop giggling when the kid runs away. "Seriously, Gerard, you are only scary to a little kid."

Gerard gets defensive. "That kid wasn't respectful! I know what he was thinking."

Lyn-Z raises her eyebrow. "So what was he thinking?"

Gerard turns pink and buys her more tokens as an extremely subtle change of subject.

He hands her the cup of them and she looks at them, a little unused to attempts at gallantry, and says, "I can buy my own tokens, thank you very much?"

Gerard looks kind of hurt, so then she flicks one at him, and it bounces off the front of his shoulder, and he says, "Hey! What was that for?"

She replies, "You can keep that one."

Gerard's grin made her smile, and she challenged him to a game of Mortal Kombat. They both want to be Liu Kang, so they have to play rock paper scissors over it, because it's the only fair way.

Lyn-Z very firmly denies the butterflies she gets in her stomach when Gerard's paper covers her rock. It's probably just casual the way his fingers slide over her fist - Gerard Way isn't exactly the smoothest - but Lyn-Z has to loudly tell him she's gonna kick his ass anyway.

After the victory dances after they've each won a round, Lyn-Z remembers that she's supposed to be digging for information about Mikey, and so she asks a few questions about his family. Gerard clams up again.

She realizes she's getting nowhere that way and changes tactics a bit. There has to be a subtle-ish way to ask what Gerard thinks of Steve, which would then maybe by extension let her figure out what Mikey thinks. Those two share a kind of creepy hive mind and Gerard almost never gives his opinion on anything without also giving Mikey's, which means sometimes he recounts long and circular arguments the two of them have had about the most inane trivial points.

So she goes, "Lunch is nice!" and then "Steve and his cereal, huh?" which is the least subtle conversation starter ever but gets the job done.

Gerard is kind of like, "Yeah, he's... kind of a strange guy. Not that I'm not a strange guy. We're all strange guys! He's just, you know, a different sort of strange from me and Mikey and everyone. You know."

Lyn-Z raises an eyebrow.

"Not a bad strange! Like how Mikey was saying last night he's just more abrasive than you. Because he came up. When I was talking about last night. Because I don't know if you kissed me or not and whether or not Steve was going to kick my ass because he seems to really hate me and my brother and I think it's because he's seen me staring at you and oh god hey want to play the claw game?"

Lyn-Z agrees that she wants to play the claw game, because it's something easy to do while she tries to process what the fuck Gerard just said.

They're both really intent on the claw game, and then Lyn-Z bursts out with, "Steve doesn't hate you," right when Gerard is about to grab something ridiculous and shiny in the claw. She didn't time it like that on purpose but she thinks it's hilarious anyway, so she's laughing at him and Gerard is all, "Um, so, he won't want to give me a swirlie if I do this?"

He leans in like he's going to kiss her.

Except Lyn-Z is still kind of giggling and it's awkward and they mash noses and she ends up just hugging him, her hand on the back of his neck, face pressed into his shoulder. They stay like that a minute, and she pulls away, takes his hand and says, "Come on, I have more tokens."

She's too distracted by the memory of the warmth from where her forehead accidentally brushed against Gerard's throat to think about interrogating him further.

*

Steve kind of gives her a look when she shrugs this time. She offers up her nugget of information - that Gerard said he and Mikey think Steve hates them - without fight, and Steve keeps asking, "Why?"

Lyn-Z shrugs again. She can't exactly say what Gerard said about staring at her, because she doesn't want him to get a public teasing at lunch over it. 

She blinks, and Steve snaps his fingers in front of her face demanding more info while she tries to come to terms with the idea that she's _protecting Gerard_ from teasing. She decides it's time to switch to the offense, and says, "But, you know, you and Mikey both have really dumb hair. I bet that's totally a basis for a relationship! Birds nests of a feather flocking together and all that!

Steve runs his hand through his hair. It doesn't help.

And she definitely already knows the extent of Mikey's geekdom, so she decides to suggest wooing techniques. "I bet if you dressed like Catwoman you'd catch his eye. Or ask him if he wants to see your Batcave! Be sure to wink so he knows exactly _which_ guano-filled hole you're talking about."

Steve laughs and says, "Hey, don't judge, anywhere can be awesome if there are some high-tech toys stuck in there."

Lyn-Z rolls her eyes. "I am torn between asking for more details I can use to make fun of you later, and just not wanting to know at all."

Steve smirks. "Oh yeah, I borrowed your Army of Darkness action figure, you want it back?"

Lyn-Z is pretty sure Steve's just using this as an opportunity to keep one of her sweet toys, but she still says very firmly, "No, thanks."

Steve looks all suspicious when Lyn-Z announces that she's going on a third date, because he knows her and she can get info out of anyone way quicker than that.  
So he starts making fun of her for liking Gerard, just to see how she reacts.

It turns out she gets kind of surly and bitchy, all, "Psh, like I would like that loser," which is totally not how Lyn-Z normally reacts to his teasing about unlikely boyfriends, which is generally to come up with epic scenarios about their forbidden love.

After that Steve and Lyn-Z both start spending a lot of time coming up with mocky songs about the other's _boooooyfriend_.

*

On their third date Gerard mentions that Mikey's got her movie, and it takes Lyn-Z a minute to remember that she ordered a bootleg from Mikey. They go back to their go-kart racing and this time Lyn-Z walks him to his front door and kisses him before he goes inside and ignores what sounds like his mother cheering him on from the other side of the door. 

So Lyn-Z goes to get the movie from Mikey, and this is kind of her prime opportunity to get dirt for Steve.

Before she can, though, Mikey says, all casual-like, "So do you and Steve spend a lot of time watching movies?"

Mikey being casual involves a lot of him sounding kind of squeaky and looking around like he's never seen the room before.

She blinks at him a few times and says, "The normal amount."

That isn't any kind of answer at all, and Mikey is still holding her movie with no motion to hand it to her.

Then she realizes what's going on - like she's understanding how to speak Way after three dates with Gerard - and she says, trying not to grin too wide, "Steve's always wanted to see _Flesh for Frankenstein_."

Mikey wordlessly hands over her movie.

*

Lyn-Z doesn't tell Steve about the upcoming movie surprise because when she sees him, he hands her a zombie survival guide.

"Just in case, you know, because your boyfriend kind of smells like a walking corpse," he says jealously, and Lyn-Z takes the book and glares and doesn't tell him about the fact that he had a Mikey-shaped admirer.

At lunch the next day Steve is bitchier than ever, and sneers at the hand-holding that is going on between Lyn-Z and Gerard. Mikey's silent until Steve starts making fun of Gerard, and then he leaps to his brother's defense. Next thing anyone knows there's a bitch-fest going down between Mikey and Steve, while everyone looks back and forth between them.

Steve throws down the gauntlet after Mikey tells him he's a stupid-face. "That's it, _mano a mano_ time!"

He stands up and Mikey stands up and they glare at each other while everyone else at the table stares, wondering how this is all going to go down.

Mikey breaks the stare-down by grabbing something out of his bag. He snaps, "I shouldn't have found you your stupid movie."

He chucks the movie at him and Steve is staring at it, silently mouthing, "What the fuck?"

He doesn't get a chance to question it because Mikey storms off. Gerard half-stands to go after him, but Lyn-Z quickly sits on him to keep him from leaving so that Steve will have to go after him.

Steve glares at Lyn-Z. "The fuck, Zoid?'

She shrugs. "I was gonna mention it. Eventually!"

Steve narrows his eyes and says, "Like how you were just supposed to be pumping him for _information_."

He goes off after Mikey.

Gerard is looking kind of shell-shocked and is staring at Lyn-Z looking all sheepish on his lap. "Wait, what?" he says.

They both ignore Frank, who's laughing his ass off as Ray keeps batting at the back of his head, trying to get him to at least be more discreet about it. 

Lyn-Z doesn't even stammer, just says, "I like you," like that's the answer to all the questions that just got raised.

Gerard sounds resigned when he says, "Did you go out with me on a bet?"

Lyn-Z shakes her head, her pigtail brushing against Gerard. "No, I used Steve's crush on Mikey as a reason to go out with you without getting made fun of," which kind of hurts more than the bet would have, but is honest.

Gerard doesn't say anything.

"Because I like you," she says again, and doesn't get off Gerard's lap because she doesn't want to have to chase him down like Steve's having to chase Mikey down. Gerard just looks down at where their hands are still joined, and Lyn-Z squeezes it to show him that she means what she's saying.

He looks like he takes that as a good sign.

*

Steve's not really sure which way Mikey would go, so he just kind of wanders and ends up finding Mikey in the empty auditorium

Mikey is slumped in a seat scowling at his phone, and Steve stands in the doorway looking at the movie in his hand - how the fuck did Mikey even get this shit, Steve's been looking for it for ages - and trying to figure out what to say

He's never been one to tiptoe through the tulips, though, so he lets the door fall loudly shut behind him and says, "I don't give people I think hate me presents. Unless I'm going to put this in and find my mom's sex tape. It isn't, right?"

Mikey's lip quirks and he says, "Give it back for the night and we'll see."

Steve ambles over and flops in the seat next to him. "We'll see together? I probably won't get it up seeing my first condo, but I'll judge you if you don't."

"Who do you think's gonna give it to her?" Mikey asks. 

Steve punches him lightly on the arm, careful not to break the skinny fucker, and says, "Damn shame, because that'll make it a little awkward when I ask you out." 

Mikey's silent.

Steve says, "Don't make me do the wooing thing, really."

Mikey raises an eyebrow. "A display of feathers might be nice."

And that right there is what Steve likes about the kid, the inexplicable ways his brain works. Steve twirls the movie between two fingers and says, "I _would_ like someone to watch this with. A weird glasses-wearing someone who could totally put their hand down my pants if they wanted."

Mikey plucks the movie out of Steve's hand and says, "Maybe I want someone to watch it with me, you know, and reciprocate activities." 

"Deal," Steve says, and decides that giving Mikey's crotch a squeeze is a way better relationship opener than a kiss, since it's right there in range and all. Mikey's surprised squeak is definitely a plus.

*

When they end up back in the cafeteria, Lyn-Z and Gerard are holding hands and Lyn-Z is still in Gerard's lap with her head tucked against the side of his neck.

Frank and Bob are singing "Lyn-Z and Gerard, sitting in a treeee" at them, and Steve joins in and adds in a verse about what a stinker the baby in the baby carriage would be. Lyn-Z flips him off and Gerard and Mikey exchange these weird looks like they're psychically updating each other on what's going on, and then Gerard squeaks his protest when Steve decides to get to third base again.

The end.


End file.
